yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
