Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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