I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
