Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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