drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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