The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
