it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Less talking, more tequila
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize