If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
