so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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