I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
