You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
