i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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