I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
