I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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