Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
