More tranny stories later!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
