WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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