mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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