I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
