Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
