Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
