Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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