Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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