I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize