I hope mine doesn't look like that
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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