i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
