I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
