There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
