She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize