im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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