I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
