We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I love having hate sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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