She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
