yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
