So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
