last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
