This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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