1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
