So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
