Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
