Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
