But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
