i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
