they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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