Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
