It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
