she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
my liver is dry heaving
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
