dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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