The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
