Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
