you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
