Can Purell be used as lube?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
