So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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