I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
