i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
