i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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