Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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