i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
