Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
