I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
