I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
