Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
