Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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