I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
