It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
