You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
