i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
